Week 9 Picks...

Tampa Bay at Atlanta

Flash forward to Tampa Bay's press conference at 4:30pm eastern time on Sunday:

Raheem Morris: "We're the second best team in the NFC!"

Chicago at Buffalo* My Upset Special

As I was driving back from Connecticut last Sunday, I stumbled across the official radio station of the Buffalo Bills. Man was it depressing. I mean I really felt for Bills fans. The Giants were pretty damn bad during my childhood, but 0-7? Even "Big Blew" wasn't that bad in the mid-to-late 90s. As they took callers, I was expecting fans to talk about how much they sucked. But instead, they were all pleased with the effort the team was giving on the field. It's no secret, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Fred Jackson and Steve Johnson don't lead the Pro Bowl ballets. And could I name one player on their defense?

(Thinking....)

(Thinking....)

Takeo Spikes? I'm gonna say no.

So it's pretty respectable the way this team has played the last two weeks. I've been thinking all along, this is the week for them. The Bears aren't playing like they're 4-3. The Bills have the worst rush defense in the NFL, but the Bears don't run the ball! It's just not a Mike Martz thing to do. Who better to give the Bills the big turnovers they need than Jay Cutler? And what better place for the Bills to win, than at a home game in Toronto (just to make the win a little less sweet, and prevent Bills' fans from having a heart attack from the overwhelming joy)?

I think the Bills can do this. In fact, any doubt I had that the Bills might not have what it takes disappeared when BachTalk, a long time Bears fan, told me tonight that he thought the Bills were going to win. It's their destiny.

New England at Cleveland

Look at Cleveland standing up for themselves. Good for them:

I feel like this is a sign, telling me to take Cleveland over New England. Or maybe it's saying, don't take Miami over Baltimore. Or maybe, this video just has nothing to do with football. Yeah, I think I'll take it as that.

So who do I take?

I almost forgot. The Browns suck. Thanks for reminding me dude.

Miami at Baltimore

Miami's only losses have come to the three best teams in the NFL in my opinion (Steelers, Jets, Patriots). A loss to the Ravens will round out the top four. Tough schedule. This is a great team.

NY Jets at Detroit* My Upset Special #2

I keep going back and forth on this one. Earlier this week, I really thought the Lions could pull it off. They're the hardest sub-.500 team to pick against in my opinion. Calvin Johnson is a mismatch for Revis. But, I don't see why Ryan wouldn't put Cromartie on Johnson instead. Cromartie's size and athleticism would limit Johnson's production substantially. There's no way Best is running the ball on the Jets' front seven. It's hard to imagine how the Jets would lose. The Lions' defense is really underrated. They could potentially shut down the Jets offense. Should I just go with a 0-0 tie? I guess I'll stick with my gut, as all pick-makers should. I'll say Calvin's skills are better than Cromartie's skills, and I'll give the nod to the home team.

New Orleans at Carolina

Carolina made this a game in their first meeting. New Orleans seems to have the wheels back on track though. We'll call this one the "Return of Reggie." I'm feeling a 7-yard TD reception out of him in this one. Mark it down fantasy owners in search of a running back to fill your starter's bye week. Mark it down.

San Diego at Houston

Because they're even finding ways to win with the worst special teams, maybe, ever.

Arizona at Minnesota

Never bet against a team with a coach that already knows he's fired, a quarterback that's halfway retired/involved in a sexual harassment scandal, a #1 wide-out that's hobbling on an injured ankle, a defense averaging less than one sack a game, a caterer that makes food Randy Moss wouldn't feed to his dog, and an organization that thinks they're so good they'll give away their 2011 3rd round draft pick just to prove it. You just can't bet against a team like that. It's science.

NY Giants at Seattle

The Giants' front four is so good, they knocked Matt Hasselbeck out of the game three days before kickoff. The Giants are coming off their bye week (6-15 all-time), they're playing at Qwest Field, and they're playing against Seattle's backup quarterback. Trust me. As a Giants fan, this has all the makings of being a loss for Big Blue. They always lose after their bye, I don't think they've ever won at Qwest Field, and I don't think I've ever seen them beat a backup quarterback. This is like the "Perfect Storm" of ways the Giants generally torment their fans. I'm gonna try and maintain faith though.

(Ps. There's actually a tribute to Charlie Whitehurst on YouTube. I never would have guessed that.)

(Pss. Seattle fans would rather start Whitehurst and lose than start Hasselbeck and risk further injury. How intimidating is this front four?)

Indianapolis at Philadelphia

Let's consult the game-picking rule book:

Article 1, Section 4:

"You never pick a road team on short rest after Monday Night Football."

However, it seems there is a clause:

Amendment #18:

"Article 1, Section 4 always remains true. Unless you're picking against Peyton Manning."

Kansas City at Oakland

According to video footage, Al Davis is alive and well. And so are the Raiders.

(Side Note: There's no telling when the footage was actually taken, so we can't be sure Al hasn't been dead for six months.)

Dallas at Green Bay

Roy Williams expects the Cowboys to run the table, win nine straight, and win the Super Bowl. I expect Blake Lively to ring my doorbell in the next 30 seconds, saying her car broke down and she needs a place to stay for the night.

(Waiting...)

(Still waiting...)

Didn't happen. And neither will your prediction Roy.

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati

TO had this to say about the Bengals performance last week:

"Well, I don't really want to start anything, but I did play in the Super Bowl and there were rumors where [Donovan McNabb] couldn't get our two-minute offense going at the end of the game. I'm just saying."

Oh that's right, TO cares about everything except the Bengals. Funny thing about the rumors TO is mentioning? He was the one that started them in the first place a few years ago.

I think what I'm trying to say is. How am I going to pick against the #1 team in my power rankings, when they're playing a team that's best players are more concerned with Twitter, TV careers and grudges that should have ended years ago?

Oh that's right I'm not. I'm taking the Steelers.

Last Week: 7-6

Season: 61-56