Week 6 Picks (I Promise, No Brett Favre Dicks)...

So around 3:30 pm last week, I take a glance at the out-of-town scores and see that I'm less than a quarter away in every game from going 8-1! And the only one I had wrong so far was the Giants (my team) beating the Texans. I was essentially 9-0. When I pick the Giants to lose, I want to be wrong. Anyways, I was originally skeptical to look at the scores, because I was afraid I might jinx myself. But I looked anyway, and guess what?? I jinxed myself.

Moments later...

Carson Palmer helped lead Tampa Bay back in the game. Then when overtime seemed almost a lock, Palmer helped Tampa Bay win the game (prior to the extra quarter) with yet another interception.

Green Bay blew a 10-point 4th quarter lead, and a rare Aaron Rodgers interception set up the game-winning FG in OT for Washington. Oh and Mason Crosby missed a game-winning 53-yard FG off the post as time expired.

So the next thing I know, 8-1 quickly became 6-3. Then in the afternoon games I witnessed my heavily-favored picks fall to lesser foes.

The Chargers hadn't lost to Oakland in 13 years. But three fumbles in the red zone, coupled with two blocked kicks in the first 4 and 1/2 minutes that put the Bolts down 12-0 before they even knew the game had started, gave them no chance to keep the streak alive.

The defending Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints lost to a rookie quarterback without the Cardinals even scoring an offensive touchdown.

And lastly, the Cowboys, coming off a bye week at home in a near must-win game, lost to the Titans.

And that's how I was 6-6 going into the night games. Brett Favre's lack of magic and probably dignity for that matter cost me one of those games. And alas, I was 7-7 in Week 5.

So what good came out of this week? Well, I learned a few things.

First off, I was happy to see my Niners and Bears theory actually worked! I was 2-0 baby. Secondly, I learned that I hate the New York Jets more than Brett Favre - even in a week America learned he sent pictures of his dick to a smoke-show Jets employee two years ago. He's married and a father by the way. I now have a measurement for how much I hate the Jets. I seriously can't stand them that much. Finally, and most disappointedly, I found the Niners first loss (and my first win) bittersweet. Over the course of picking them to win every week, and constantly seeing them disappoint me, I've grown to really like their team. I want to see Singletary succeed, I've always liked Frank Gore, Vernon Davis is on my fantasy team, Michael Crabtree is one of my top-5 favorite college football players of all-time, and Patrick Willis recently became my "favorite-defensive-player-that-I-watched-for-the-first-time-last-night" a few weeks ago. They're a fun team to watch when they're at their best. And they have so much talent. When Alex Smith went into "Eff-you-I-refuse-to-let-David-Carr-come-in-and-end-my-disappointing-career" mode at the end of the Philadelphia game, they outscored the Eagles 14-3. It could've been 21-3 too if Smith's screen pass to Gore wasn't batted down in the final minutes. At 0-5, I'm not counting them out of this division. It's going to be an uphill battle, but I think they can take down the Rams, the Seahawks and Max Hall's Cardinals. That's five wins right there. At this point five might be enough to win the division.

To the picks...

Seattle at Chicago

If the Bears are good enough to win when their quarterback goes 6-16 for 32 yards, 4 INTs and a net of -13 yards after sacks are factored in, they can beat anyone in my book. Oh, it was against Jimmy Clausen and his 0-5 Panthers??? Well, in that case, I'll take the Seahawks in this one. The Bears are due for a classic disappointing Bears loss aren't they? They'll probably under-utilize Forte again, even though he showed last week that even three years deep into the league, he's still got it (For those of you that don't know that was a joke. Cutler's ability to throw - mostly for interceptions - continues to shield Forte's talent from the eyes of offensive coordinator Mike Martz). But maybe I should I think this one through a little bit more. The Seahawks have played well every other week. They're last game was a 20-3 loss to the Rams. This one should be a win. Or did they practice well in their bye week, and now they're gonna suck again? Oh and I'm supposed to take the opposite of what I think is gonna happen. Decisions...decisions. I think I'm over-analyzing this right now. Seahawks.

Miami at Green Bay

I was gonna say Dolphins if Rodgers is out, Packers if Rodgers is in. But I'm just gonna say Dolphins either way. Just a hunch. (Side Note: Rodgers is in. I'm sticking with the fish)

San Diego at St. Louis

Let's take you back to something Michael Silver and I said last week:

"If a team has the league's No. 1 offense and defense four games into the season, how much does it have to screw up to go 2-2?" I'll take "Cut Everyone Associated With Your Special Teams" for $500 Alex.

On the fact alone that the Chargers still haven't fired their Special Teams coordinator I should take the Rams. But they lost 44-6 to the Lions last week. That's how bad the NFC West is. Go! Chargers! Go!

Baltimore at New England

Last time I picked New England to beat Baltimore, they got spanked in the playoffs. Kicking off my playoff picks to forget last year. And I think Baltimore widen the gap between these two teams even more.

They say it's not good to pick teams on the road. I've taken all four roads team thus far. And I wonder why I'm fighting to stay above .500 this year.

New Orleans at Tampa Bay

Divisional game. The whole world has even the Saints believing they might be overrated. They need that running game. It really opens up their offense. I'm going to say that without it, they lose again this weekend. (Never thought I'd pick Tampa Bay to win a game this year. Let alone against the Saints. Watch them win that division though. That division crowns a new champ every year. Although, I think it's the Falcons' division title for the taking)

Detroit at New York Giants

After two weeks of shunning them, it's finally time to let the Giants back on my good side.

Atlanta at Philadelphia

The Eagles announced Kevin Kolb as their starter today. I'm sure Vick's disappointed he can't take on the organization that kicked him to the curb. So the question of the week is: Would Vick rather see the organization that abandoned him win to ensure he keeps his starting job next week OR his team win, when it could cause coach Andy Reid to rethink starting Vick from here on out?

Cleveland at Pittsburgh

I would love to see Big Ben lose on Sunday. Imagine if Pittsburgh fans were so shocked by a Steelers loss to the Browns that they protested Charlie Batch should assume the role of starter?

That would almost be as bad as having to listen to your stadium chant "David Carr" on national television, because they thought your performance was that pathetic (Sorry Alex Smith).

Kansas City at Houston

Houston is letting me down. I appreciated the loss

to the Giants, but I didn't expect them to get dominated. Not only that, but they hardly even ran the ball. Sure the Giants got a big lead right off the bat, but there was three quarters left in the game. There's no reason to screw my two fantasy teams over because you're down 18 to the Giants. Don't let that happen again. The running game is what gave you those three wins Houston. Recognize that. Hard to pick against a Kansas City team that plays as hard as they do. Weis and Crennel are doing a great job. I said coming into this season that I thought the Texans were over their curse of mediocrity though. A win here would be a big win towards that cause.

Oakland at San Francisco

I know I'm supposed to pick against San Fran, but I think the curse was broken last week. This is their time. They will feast on these divisional opponents. Their schedule has been tough thus far. Here comes the turnaround. No San Francisco fans will be saying this on Sunday.

NY Jets at Denver

So, I'll be the first to admit the Jets are pretty damn good. They have that luck factor that all good teams have to have. The ball just rolls their way when they need it to. I'm afraid to see how far they go. With this being said, I hear you never pick the road team on short rest after a Monday night game though. I figure the Jets are the best team to try this methodology on. I'll be rooting against them anyway. Here's more incentive.

Dallas at Minnesota

Not sure if you're supposed to pick against the home team on short rest after a Monday night game or not. Did we ever think this match-up would be a match-up of two 1-3 teams fighting for their life? With all the parity in the NFL right now, this is hardly a life-or-death game, but it's getting close to that. I'll take Randy Dandy in his return home. I really, really hope I'm right.

Indianapolis at Washington

Washington seems to elevate their game on Sunday and Monday nights. In saying that, those are usually divisional games. Oh, and you know who else elevates his game on Sunday and Monday nights? You guessed it, Pierre Garcon. That Manning guy isn't bad either.

Tennessee at Jacksonville

Just a terrible game to advertise. I'll be watching for Maurice Jones-Drew fantasy points. The teams in the AFC South usually play competitively against each other, so this could really go either way. Titans played well against the Cowboys. Jacksonville beat the Bills and recently beat the Colts. Is it possible the Jags could have a three game winning streak entering Tuesday? I'm gonna say, oddly enough, yes.

I'd like to end with a special farewell to John Carney, former, former, former place kicker for the New Orleans Saints. The man's been used more times than Jennifer Aniston. Every time a Saints kicker sucks, they bring John back, only to send him off when the next Angelina Jolie of kickers walks by. He misses one field goal in place of Hartley and off he goes again. Sorry John. So long. I doubt this is last we'll see of you. Even though you're like 64 years old.

Last Week: 7-7

Season: 40-36